Tuesday, December 31, 2019
How to Compose a Resignation Letter
How to Compose a Resignation LetterHow to Compose a Resignation LetterCongratulations Beginning a new professional chapter is exciting. You want to make sure that your transition goes smoothly and that you enact due diligence at every stage of the process. Writing your letter of resignation is an important step. Before you begin, take a look at your HR manual and review your current companys policies about departures so that you can generate a strategic timeline and get any information you may need. You want to make sure that you understand the policy on how much paid time off you have accrued, for example. In many cases there is a metric that will help you figure out what you have earned so far this year. But if you have any questions about this, you can confidentially pose them to your colleagues in HR before you resign to your supervisor. When you are ready to meet with your supervisor to share your exciting news, take your letter of resignation with you. It serves as formal docum entation that you are resigning. Although it is a simple correspondence, there are some components that you want to make sure you include. Heres how to get started. Must Haves Your letter needs to include the date, your job title, your intention to resign and the last day you will work in that position. You should give your supervisor a full ten working days, if possible. You want to be as courteous as you can and facilitate a neat and tidy exit for yourself. To that end, you want to thank your supervisor and express your appreciation to your soon-to-be-former company. Despite any negativity that may have mounted over the course of your tenure, you want to show you appreciation for the opportunities that the position afforded you. This period of transition over the next two weeks can be a wonderful and enlightening time where you get the chance to talk with your soon-to-be former colleagues about your shared experiences. But you set the tone for that. So aim to make it a reflective and a positive tone. May Haves If you and your anfhrer have a strained relationship, and you have some major projects in the works such as an event, a mailing or any other hardline deliverable, you may want to outline some ideas for how you will hand off your part of that project. You dont have to do this, but if you feel that it will make your resignation conversation easier, then include a general reference to how some of those responsibilities may transition. Keep in mind, you are doing this for your own benefit, so dont stress too much. Figuring out how to move forward with the open position is really your managers responsibility. You dont have to indicate details about why you started looking for a new job or what about this position didnt work for you. You can do so if you wish, but keep in mind you will have an exit interviewwhere you will have the chance to discuss this with your HR colleagues. Remember Your letter of resignation is a formal document that will go into your p ersonnel file. Make sure it has all the necessary details, and then keep it upbeat and brief. Best wishes and good luck
Thursday, December 26, 2019
5 Tips for Finding Your Job Search Voice
5 Tips for Finding Your Job Search Voice5 Tips for Finding Your Job Search Voice3By its very nature, job searching is a time of uncertainty. Youre either waiting for a response to your job applications, waiting for a callback for a job interview, or waiting for a job offer. Thats why its very easy to lose your confidence during your job hunt. But its important to find- and maintain- your job search voice in order to have a successful search. Here are five tips to help you find your job search voice and successKnow your worth.Right about now, you might feel a little insecure and unsteady in your job search. So its crucial to keep your perspective about yourself and your career. Reminding yourself of all that youve done- both professionally and personally- will help remind you that you are mora than qualified for the positions that youre applying for, that you can offer a potential employer a lot in terms of your previous work experiences, and that you deserve a good salary based on al l youve accomplished in the past.Practice, practice, practice.One way to find your job search voice is to practice using it- over and over again. From perfecting your elevator pitch, to practicing answering those tricky job interview questions, you should talk to yourself as much as you need to in order to make yourself sound strong and confident.Tip You can even record yourself so you can hear your own voice. That way youll know if you sound shaky or simply need to hear yourself asking for what you really want, such as when youre negotiating salary.Keep calm. Youre job searching, so naturally, youre stressed out. Job hunting can be an emotionally grueling process, so its natural that, at times, the tears may flow. Thing is, you dont want to burst into tears during a job interview, so youll need to practice keeping your calm. Start by learning to take deep breaths, and relax. After all, when youre nervous, your breathing can become more shallow- and your voice more high-pitched. By practicing your breathing, youll give yourself more time to answer those tougher questions during an interview- and sound more confident.Be your brand.No matter what position youre applying for, every single job seeker has his or her own personal brand. Your brand is a culmination of your work and personal experiences, and your own character, including your strengths and weaknesses. And believe it or not, companies want employees who own their own brand. So you should take some time to discover what your personal brand is and what you stand for. In that way, it will benefit an employer to hire a person with a strong brand and add him to his team.Get social. If youre unsure of what your job search voice is, you can find out fast by going online. What professional websites do you visit? What kinds of posts are you putting up on your professional Facebook page? What are you tweeting out to your followers? How do you engage with others on LinkedIn? Do you dish out current industry info, or do you share personal anecdotes as they relate to your career goals? By taking the time to review your social media accounts, youll discover that you already have a job search voice and learn how to tweak it to maximize your job search potential.Job searching isnt always fun, but by knowing your job search voice- and using it- you can expedite your job search and find a flexible job that youll love.Readers, do you know what your job search voice is? Let us know in the comments
Saturday, December 21, 2019
Webinar Video Take Charge of Your Career with Flexible Work
Webinar Video Take Charge of Your Career with Flexible WorkWebinar Video Take Charge of Your Career with Flexible Work and Dr. Woody partnered today to hold a free webinar, Take Charge of Your Career with Flexible Work, and it was a resounding successFor any job seekers who werent able to make our webinar, and for those who want to review the material, here is the full-length recording of the webinar. We were thrilled with the number of people who registered for this event and we hope you found the information useful and meaningful for your career. Please feel free to share this with anyone conducting a job search. And best of luck in your future career and job search endeavorsTo download a .pdf file of the slides from our webinar, click here.For more information, visit check out at www..com and Dr. Woody, author of The YOU Plan.
Monday, December 16, 2019
What To Do After You Give Notice Youre Quitting - The Muse
What To Do After You Give Notice Youre Quitting - The MuseWhat To Do After You Give Notice Youre Quitting Hi Kyle, Ive given notice at my job, and Im leaving in six weeks. No one is upset in fact, everyone is being supportive of my move. The issue is that Im finding it hard to be motivated and worried that these six weeks are going to drag on. Because I work quite quickly, Ill have nothing to do for the last few weeks. How do I keep myself going and not give up mentally?Signed, Thumb TwiddlerDear Thumb Twiddler,It sounds like this is an intentional move, so first, congrats There are lots of ways to leave your mark once you give notice youre quitting, and the fact that you have six whole weeks (less by the time youre reading this), means you can cover all the important stuff. You always hear dont burn bridges, but theres so much mora you can do besides leaving all bridges intact. Here are a few things (thatll show returns later in your career). Leave a LegacyLeaving something for your former colleagues to talk about long after you depart will seriously boost your professional rep which, in turn, will make future outreach to these connections much easier. Think about problems you ran into in your daily routine or things that took a long time to learn when you first started. You may have been too busy to fix a drawn-out process or show your co-workers a workaround that you discovered while you were up to your neck in work, which is why now is the perfect time to tackle these items. Writing a handbook on your role or simply documenting a process you followed will leave your name on something tangible that will make your former co-workers lives easier.Train Your ReplacementNothing will make your immediate team and manager happier than getting a replacement up to speed quickly. Not to mention, training a new hire is an incredible experience. This wont always be possible when you have a short timeline, but theres typically something small you can do. Whether its helpi ng write the job description for your role, getting involved in the hiring process, or offering to work alongside the new person for a week (or even a day, if thats all you can spare), see what you can do to reduce the stress on the rest of the organization. Nobody can explain how to do your job better than you, so pass on your knowledge to leave a lasting mark. Bolster Your Professional BrandYoure currently on your way out of an organization, and the terms are good. Presumably you still have access to your email, and you have the opportunity to speak with your co-workers in person before your departure. Use this time to network This is a great chance for you to buy a few of your close colleagues (especially managers) a coffee and tell them about your next move. A final real-life interaction will make connecting and interacting online much easier. After all, these are the people who you might want ask to endorse and recommend you on LinkedIn. In the end, you may still find yourself with some idle time in your final days, and thats OK. Youve checked all the boxes by giving ample notice and informing everyone who will be affected. Be helpful and offer your time and expertise where you can. People tend to remember the last interactions they have with you- so arguably that final impression is just as, if not more, important as the first. I know its challenging not to mentally check out, but if youve read this far, that doesnt seem likely. This article is part of our Ask an Expert series- a column dedicated to helping you tackle your biggest career concerns. Our experts are excited to answer all of your burning questions, and you can submit one by emailing us at editor(at)themuse(dot)com and using Ask a Credible Career Coach in the subject line.Your letter may be published in an article on The Muse. All letters to Ask an Expert become the property of Daily Muse, Inc and will be edited for length, clarity, and grammatical correctness.Photo of colleagues in casual co nversation courtesy of Morsa Images/Getty Images.
Wednesday, December 11, 2019
Henry R Worthington
Henry R Worthington Henry R Worthington Henry R. WorthingtonWith no more formal education than from the New York City public schools, Henry R. Worthington (1817 1880) became a highly regarded professional mechanical engineer from on-the-job training and practical experience. In fact, after a number of working years, that career preparation made him increasingly aware of the need for individuals to have formal training. He joined other concerned professionals in the 1850s to establish the Brooklyn Collegiate Polytechnic Institute and served on its first board of trustees.Among his accomplishments as an engineer were the development of improved steam-driven, direct-acting hochhackiger schuh for steam-powered vessels, and one of the first practical water meters. He was one of the founding members of the American Society of Mechanical Engineers.Henry Rossiter Worthington was born in 1817 in Brooklyn, NY, to a family that had been parte of America since the 17th century. His father Asa Worthington, a millwright, had expected his oldest son to take over the family business of building and maintaining machinery. As Henry reached adulthood, he had other ideas.The U.S. was still very much an agricultural nation with most manufacturing taking place along the Eastern Seaboard, and transportation was an up-and-coming field. When the state of New York issued a call to inventors and engineers to come up with a steam canal boat for the Erie Canal, which had been using mules and horses to pull barges since its opening 15 years earlier, Worthington was up for the challenge. New York state officials saw this as a way to promote more traffic and expand manufacturing to other regions. With his fathers blessing and financial backing, Worthington began at age 23 to study the problem.Boilers on steam-powered vessels of that time had to be continuously replenished with water, and the pumps to do so were driven directly by the engine. However, often the boat was not in motion and the engines were idle for instance whenever the boat passed through canal locks, the engine was turned off, and the water level in the boiler dropped. It could be replenished only by a hand pump. This was not only a tedious procedure but also kept the crew from performing other duties on the boat. Worthington developed a different method, a steam-driven feed pump that was direct-acting, in other words, one that operated independently and automatically from the engine.The barge he developed was lauded by the state, but for political reasons, canal traffic returned to using mules and horses.According to a biography of Worthington by Clarence E. Searle, a president of the Worthington Pump Machinery Co. in the 1940s, if the New York legislature had not rejected Worthingtons boat, the Worthington name might have been limited to an association with a single field boats.The rejection encouraged Worthington to continue working on his pump, and in 1845, he joined with William H. Baker to found Worthington Baker to manufacture the pump. The company made its first sales of Worthington pumps to the U.S. Navy in 1850 for the USS Susquehanna, the first Navy ship to be named for a river. In addition to merchant and navy vessels, the pump was also sold for use in hotels, factories, mines, and quarries.During that decade, his company expanded into producing pumps for municipalities, including the city of Savannah, GA, and in 1855, Worthington patented and began manufacturing a water meter. Continuing to work on improving pumps, Worthington developed designs for other applications, such as boiler feed, oil pipeline, and hydro-electric uses. In 1857, he came up with a duplex direct-acting pump, considered the most significant development in steam-powered pumps at the time and one that became a widely used means for handling municipal water by steam power. In the next two decades, some 80 municipalities in the U.S. were using it in their waterworks operations. These pumps because of reliability and low operating cost were used for many decades in waterworks and for pumping oil through long pipe lines in oil fields.A member of a number of professional organizations, Worthington declined an offer of the presidency of ASME but did accept the vice presidency in 1880, eight months before he died in December. In 1980, Worthington Pump established the Henry R. Worthington Medal to recognize eminent achievement in the field of pumping machinery, systems and concepts.Nancy Giges is an independent writer.In 1857, Henry Worthington came up with a duplex direct-acting pump, considered the most significant development in steam-powered pumps at the time.
Saturday, December 7, 2019
The Myperfectresume Free Trap
The Myperfectresume Free Trap Listed below are a couple of guidelines to follow. While My Perfect Resume offers you the wording, it cant offer you all of the details required to make your resume standout. Be very cautious when employing all sorts of image, unless youre an expert designer. Several websites also have resume templates youll be able to utilize to make your very own personal resume. As soon as you have modified the standard resume template that you found on the net, make it simple on your upcoming self and save several versions of your resume. The majority of the templates are supplied by named, resume writing specialists and thus the quality is quite great. As soon as you add your private stamp to it through imputing your specific abilities, professional experiences, and wording, it is going to stand from the crowd for all of the correct factors. Just like any cancellation, it can be useful to find the name of the person you speak with should any issues arise lat er on. Inside my opinion, a part-time job simply to pay the bills wouldnt fall within that category. You can set a tremendous quantity of power and punch into your resume by including a human voice. What Everybody Dislikes About Myperfectresume Free and Why One of the most important ideas is to discover a fountain at the middle and grace it using an incredible base structure. The benefits of Beautiful Indoor Fairy Garden Ideas If youd love to earn a fairy garden in a container, have a while to work out which kind of container to use. Templates take some time to construct, and its simple to wonder if theyre worth the investment. The Ultimate Myperfectresume Free Trick The information that you include on your resume ought to be regarding the job which you are applying for. You might find yourself sending the same resume to different job applications and although you may think youre saving time youre really lessening your probability of receiving an bewerbungsinterview If you genuinely want that job, then youve got to give them a targeted resume. The way the Service Works My Perfect Resume is completely self-directed, so the quantity of time that it can take to experience the whole process will change from person to person. Additionally, like most other resume builders, My Perfect Resume makes it simple for the work hunter to cover all their bases without forgetting a significant part of the resume. All things considered, My Perfect Resume appears to be well worth checking out if you should jump start your work search or you are becoming discouraged with your progress. A superb sample resume should offer you a notion of the info you will need to put in your own resume. You might also be asked for clips. Resumizer free resume creator allows you to preview your resume at any moment in the creation practice. Myperfectresume reviews may be considered the same manner. Want to Know More About Myperfectresume Free? Along with your LinkedIn account, th e perfect resume should incorporate any links that are related to your work, like a personal site, portfolio, or blog. Career Perfect is a superb supply of resume advice and seems to have a superb reputation online too. Resumes are quite predictable in features and data, but some choices must be made. Resume services are all around the world wide web, so you might have come across My Perfect Resume. Myperfectresume Free - Dead or Alive? By carefully targeting resumes for certain jobs and situations, you may greatly enhance your odds of getting noticed in the work industry. If youre targeting work within the defense business, dont hesitate to use military jargon. So resume aims will differ concerning the sector in which youre searching for employment. Folks utilize a variety of resume templates which use different sort of design approaches, but ultimately its always likely to come to the simple fact that your resume should convey a very clear message above your skills, your e xperience, and also why youd be the ideal candidate for the position. ResumeBucket is another resume builder which features pre-written abilities and work experience inserts for various employment types. There are a lot of techniques to create a special and professional resume online so you will be ready for your next employment application and interview. The procedure for requesting a job is stressful and time consuming. An example may be a niche skill needed for work, which you might happen to get, but may not be relevant to include for most jobs.
Monday, December 2, 2019
3 Tips to Survive a Dreaded Business Trip
3 Tips to Survive a Dreaded Business Trip Travel, even for recreation, has its inconveniences and frustrations. Flight delays, unaccommodating hotel rooms, security checks, and annoying travelers all add to the hassle of spending time away from home. But with business trips, all of those inconveniences you experience with family and friends that are made worth it in the end become mixed with the awkwardness of being in constant company of your coworkers. Unfortunately, for some, work trips come with the territory as you are bound to be instructed to attend conferences, company meetings, or other necessary events at some point. But business trips dont have to be traumatic. Here are a handful of tips to help turn an unwanted trip into something a bit more tolerable. First and foremost, pack smart. Bring items that can help build a wall of isolation when you need to separate yourself from your compan y while tightly packed together. Ear plugs elend only block out most of the ambient noise in your surroundings to help you get some sleep, they can also signal to your colleagues that you are not to be disturbed with awkward small talk. Headphones serve largely the same purpose but allow you to participate in a passive activity to help you pass the time more enjoyably with music.Make sure you pack an appropriate wardrobe, especially if you are meeting clients and coworkers at an airport, hotel, or restaurant. Your clothes can be comfy but also classify as professional. And if you happen to be sharing a hotel room with a coworker, dont assume you will be supplied with a bath robe bring your own pajamas to avoid potential bedtime embarrassment.Even trips to smaller locations dont have to be completely monotonous and boring. Use online resources such as TripAdvisor to find quirky, local restaurants and other entertainment destinations. You may even want to turn your trip into a mini-si ghtseeing vacation by searching out unique landmarks and nearby tourist attractions. Doing something silly can help lighten the overall mood of the trip and serve as a good team-bonding experience. But no matter how much potential fun you may have on your trip, always remember that you are primarily there to work. Try not to embarrass yourself too much since some of what ensues may end up in front of your boss in the fasson of photos, emails, or phone calls from unamused guests.While there are several things you can do to actively help make your office trip more bearable, perhaps the most important involves a very personal characteristic your attitude. Even if your flight gets cancelled, you experience a mix-up at the car rental agency, or your hotel is a dump, keep calm and try to find ways to solve each problem as it arises. Anticipate delays and plan around them and dont let them get to you. If you keep smiling and exhibiting a good attitude, your coworkers will pick up on your t one and improve the general feeling of the trip.
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
Theres a reason your purchases are getting expensive and mediocre
Theres a reason your purchases are getting expensive and mediocreTheres a reason your purchases are getting expensive and mediocreThe United States has long relied on capitalism to fuel its economy, and capitalism, in turn, depends on competition for a healthy market. But as the U.S. government has turned a blind eye to monopolistic tendencies the last few decades and companies have increasingly acquired large market shares for their products, Americas capitalistic ideals have gone by the wayside to benefit large corporations, their shareholders and few others, according to New York Times columnistDavid Leonhardt.In an environment where union-busting seems more popular than monopoly-busting, the think tank Open Markets Institute has published a report on some of the industries where a few companies control an entire product or service. From domestic airlines to coffin and casket manufacturing to smartphone operating systems, the findings are dramatic.Because a select few corporate parents dictate the economy in this country, they can drive up prices, pull down wages and perpetuate other practices that make the lives of average Americans more stressful.Due to extreme concentrations of wealth and political power, our country is experiencing severe economic inequality, stagnant household income, the collapse of business formation and innovation, and historic levels of political polarization, the Open Markets report reads.Heres a look at some of the industries that have been taken over by corporate giants.Domestic airlinesFour firms control 73% of this $140.6 1000000000000 industry American, Delta, United Continental, and Southwest. Perhaps thats why planes keep getting more crowded and uncomfortable and one-time givens such as carry-ons have now become add-ons to the price of a ticket.Social networkingAs the parent company to youth favorites such as Instagram and WhatsApp, Facebook controls an astounding 72% of the market for social networking sites. LinkedIn co ntrols another 11% and Twitter 6% of a $25.6 billion industry.Baby formula and diapersThe largest four firms that sell baby formula control 89% of the market, and the largest two firms for diaper manufacturing control 64% of the market.Cell phone providers and smartphone operating systemsThe four largest cell phone providers - ATT, Verizon, T-Mobile, and Sprint - control 98% of the industrys market, with ATT and Verizon far outpacing their competitors. Meanwhile, there are only two major firms in smartphone operating systems Google and Apple together control 99 percent of the industry.Pharmacies and drug storesWe now romanticize a time when kids would pop over to their local pharmacy for a root beer float. That culture barely exists anymore Major chains Walgreens and CVS control 61% of the market for a $270.6 billion industry.Washer and dryer manufacturingThree firms control 100% of the industrys market.CandyTwo recognizable names - Hershey and Mars - control 60% of the candy ma rket.Coffin and casket manufacturingEven death can be monopolized, and two firms control 76% of the coffin and casket manufacturing market.From necessities to lifestyle splurges, our economy is monopolized by a handful of major corporations that tischset the prices we pay and the salaries we earn. But not all is lost Were the ones with buying power, and we can elect politicians who believe in stricter regulations for corporations. The choice is in our hands we just have to learn to wield our power.
Friday, November 22, 2019
5 habits of truly happy marriages, according to a marriage expert
5 habits of truly happy marriages, according to a marriage expert5 habits of truly happy marriages, according to a marriage expertMarriagetakes work. Everyone knows this. But what many dont realize is that they might be working on the wrong things. Or even working on the right things in the wrong way.In our culture, theres so much focus on getting together rather than on being together and stayinghappy together, says Suzann Pileggi, who, along with her husband, James Pawelski, director of education at the University of Pennsylvania Positive Psychology Center, authoredHappy Together Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts.Looking at positive psychology research and binnenseeing what is it that can actually lead to ahappier marriage.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraPositive psychology is the science of strengths and looking at what makes individuals and co uples thrive. The research shows that, if youre focusing mora on growing the nuggets of whats good, you have a better chance of having ahappy relationship. In other words, know your strengths and spend time maintaining them. Here, then, are five tips that Suzann and James say will lead to better days for you and your spouse.1. Cultivate a healthy passionThat idea of starry-eyed lovers who are forever on each others minds and obsess over each other daily? Total B.S. In fact, per Pileggi this thinking is detrimental, as it can give rise to the idea that obsessive passion is a healthy thing.In the beginning of arelationship, you cant stop thinking about your partner, you might be distracted at work, you might cancel plans with friends to see your girlfriend or future spouse, she explains. But if that continues months or years into the relationship and youre not seeing yourfriends anymore, youre not engaging in activities that you did before the relationship, and you cant focus on anyth ing else, that could be more of an obsessive passion.In order to create a healthy passion, Pileggi says to be sure to make room in your mind for your other interests and other people. Then, when you are with your partner, find ways to connect over things that you both enjoy. Its about forging a deeper bond, not trying to be competitive, Pileggi says. So dont choose something that you really like and enjoy and your wife has no interest in. The idea is to connect, not to compete.2. Embrace the upsideAt thebeginning of a relationship, positive emotions are flowing with regularity. Excitement, joy, passion are all right at your fingertips. But, as the relationship progresses and you both get more comfortable with each other, some people expect that those positive emotions will just happen without any effort. Not so.The research shows that thehappiest coupleswith the most sustainablemarriagesare the ones who actively cultivate them all the time and prioritize them as opposed to waiting a round for them to happen, she says. Because, like with anything, the newness of something, those heightened positive emotions, the level and the frequency just naturally dont occur as much as in the beginning of a relationship, the falling-in-love stage.So, couples inlong-term relationshipswho are looking to cultivate positive emotions have to ask themselves what can they do each day, what activities or actions can they do in order to keep positive emotions flowing in a marriage.Imagine if you just bought a gym membership and went once and then said, Okay, now Im going to be fit, Pileggi says. No, you work out regularly and throughout your lifetime.One activity that Pileggi and her husband discuss inHappy Togetheris a Positive Relationship Portfolio, And yes, it is actually a portfolio of pictures, mementos, and other such items that mean something in your relationship. If thats your style or not, we get it. The point of the exercise is to devote time to thinking about the hintergru nd memories, which, per Pileggi, is extremely important. However you do it is up to you.3. Savor experiencesPositive emotions and moments are fleeting. Pileggi says that its important to slow down and take time to enjoy them. Research shows that if you spend at least 15 minutes savoring something you could increase your satisfaction, she says. One way to do that is sharing secrets with one another. Ask your spouse about a favorite childhood experience, or a secret they never told anyone or big idea or dream they always had for the future. The point is this The more you open up and talk about these sorts of things, the deeper a bond youre able to create.4. Locate and focus on character strengthsWhat are your partners strengths? Do you know? Positive Psychology researchers have identified 24 character traits that people possess in different measures. Things like creativity, curiosity, zest, love of learning, leadership. Pileggi recommends taking a Character Strengths test with your pa rtner (one is availablehere).Then, once youve determined what your strengths are, you can have conversations with each other about them. From there, Pileggi says, you both can go on what she and her husband call a strength date. Sounds weird right? But the idea is sound each of you to pick a top strength and go on a date that plays to - and satisfies - both of them.5. Emphasize gratitudeIf your partner feels taken advantage of and not acknowledged, theyre not going to be satisfied, she says. And just saying thanks isnt enough.An example If your spouse gives you a schadstoff or does something kind for you, dont just thank them, but also say something like, You really know what I need and youre such a good listener. or Youre so thoughtful, and I can see how thoughtful you are with our children and the way you are at work.Its about being deliberate and specific in how youexpress appreciation for your partner.Express your thanks and express it well, says Pileggi. Which means focusing on your partner and her actions and her strengths rather than solely on the gift and the benefit to you. The end result Per Pileggi, couples who did this decreased their chances of breaking up six months later by 50 percent.This article was originally published on Fatherly.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will ersatzdarsteller your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people5 habits of truly happy marriages, according to a marriage expertMarriagetakes work. Everyone knows this. But what many dont realize is that they might be working on the wrong things. Or even working on the right things in the wrong way.In our culture, theres so much focus on getting together rather than on being together and stayinghappy together, says Suzann Pileg gi, who, along with her husband, James Pawelski, director of education at the University of Pennsylvania Positive Psychology Center, authoredHappy Together Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts.Looking at positive psychology research and seeing what is it that can actually lead to ahappier marriage.Positive psychology is the science of strengths and looking at what makes individuals and couples thrive. The research shows that, if youre focusing more on growing the nuggets of whats good, you have a better chance of having ahappy relationship. In other words, know your strengths and spend time maintaining them. Here, then, are five tips that Suzann and James say will lead to better days for you and your spouse.1. Cultivate a healthy passionThat idea of starry-eyed lovers who are forever on each others minds and obsess over each other daily? Total B.S. In fact, per Pileggi this thinking is detrimental, as it can give rise to the idea that obsessive passion i s a healthy thing.In the beginning of arelationship, you cant stop thinking about your partner, you might be distracted at work, you might cancel plans with friends to see your girlfriend or future spouse, she explains. But if that continues months or years into the relationship and youre not seeing yourfriendsanymore, youre not engaging in activities that you did before the relationship, and you cant focus on anything else, that could be more of an obsessive passion.In order to create a healthy passion, Pileggi says to be sure to make room in your mind for your other interests and other people. Then, when you are with your partner, find ways to connect over things that you both enjoy. Its about forging a deeper bond, not trying to be competitive, Pileggi says. So dont choose something that you really like and enjoy and your wife has no interest in. The idea is to connect, not to compete.2. Embrace the upsideAt thebeginning of a relationship, positive emotions are flowing with regul arity. Excitement, joy, passion are all right at your fingertips. But, as the relationship progresses and you both get more comfortable with each other, some people expect that those positive emotions will just happen without any effort. Not so.The research shows that thehappiest coupleswith the most sustainablemarriagesare the ones who actively cultivate them all the time and prioritize them as opposed to waiting around for them to happen, she says. Because, like with anything, the newness of something, those heightened positive emotions, the level and the frequency just naturally dont occur as much as in the beginning of a relationship, the falling-in-love stage.So, couples inlong-term relationshipswho are looking to cultivate positive emotions have to ask themselves what can they do each day, what activities or actions can they do in order to keep positive emotions flowing in a marriage.Imagine if you just bought a gym membership and went once and then said, Okay, now Im going to be fit, Pileggi says. No, you work out regularly and throughout your lifetime.One activity that Pileggi and her husband discuss inHappy Togetheris a Positive Relationship Portfolio, And yes, it is actually a portfolio of pictures, mementos, and other such items that mean something in your relationship. If thats your style or not, we get it. The point of the exercise is to devote time to thinking about the fond memories, which, per Pileggi, is extremely important. However you do it is up to you.3. Savor experiencesPositive emotions and moments are fleeting. Pileggi says that its important to slow down and take time to enjoy them. Research shows that if you spend at least 15 minutes savoring something you could increase your satisfaction, she says. One way to do that is sharing secrets with one another. Ask your spouse about a favorite childhood experience, or a secret they never told anyone or big idea or dream they always had for the future. The point is this The more you open up a nd talk about these sorts of things, the deeper a bond youre able to create.4. Locate and focus on character strengthsWhat are your partners strengths? Do you know? Positive Psychology researchers have identified 24 character traits that people possess in different measures. Things like creativity, curiosity, zest, love of learning, leadership. Pileggi recommends taking a Character Strengths test with your partner (one is availablehere).Then, once youve determined what your strengths are, you can have conversations with each other about them. From there, Pileggi says, you both can go on what she and her husband call a strength date. Sounds weird right? But the idea is sound each of you to pick a top strength and go on a date that plays to - and satisfies - both of them.5. Emphasize gratitudeIf your partner feels taken advantage of and not acknowledged, theyre not going to be satisfied, she says. And just saying thanks isnt enough.An example If your spouse gives you a gift or does something kind for you, dont just thank them, but also say something like, You really know what I need and youre such a good listener. or Youre so thoughtful, and I can see how thoughtful you are with our children and the way you are at work.Its about being deliberate and specific in how youexpress appreciation for your partner.Express your thanks and express it well, says Pileggi. Which means focusing on your partner and her actions and her strengths rather than solely on the gift and the benefit to you. The end result Per Pileggi, couples who did this decreased their chances of breaking up six months later by 50 percent.This article was originally published on Fatherly.
Thursday, November 21, 2019
5 Times Its OK to Have an Ego at Work - The Muse
5 Times Its OK to Have an Ego at Work - The Muse5 Times Its OK to Have an Ego at WorkWhen you were growing up, were you taught that bragging is bad or that it isnt polite to talk about yourself? Instead, you may have learned that if you worked hard enough, kept your head down, and focused on your goals, people would see your sterling results and you would be duly rewarded. Well, in the professional world, things play out a little differently. Sometimes, the only way you can give a voice to your hard work and results is to speak up. Why? Your manager and colleagues may know youre a hard worker and assume you get things done. But theyre also busy with their own responsibilities, so theyre probably not keeping close track of yours. Your ich- well managed, of course- can help you fill them in. In fact, in my opinion, being able to speak to your accomplishments and competencies is just as important as your ability to do the work. Your selbst can be a great asset in your career, if you kno w how and when to use it- like in these five situations.1. When Youre Interviewing for a JobI once coached a client to say in an interview, Im really good at working with customers and I will do a great job in this role. He flinched at the suggestion, responding with, I cant really say that, can I? Yes, you can. And you should. Research shows that narcissism goes a long way in job interviews. Individuals who engage with the interviewer with a little self-promotion receive more positive ratings than those who take a modest, self-deprecating approach. Remember, managers want to hire confident employees who know they can get the job done. So before an interview, read the job description thoroughly and think about how you will perform well in each aspect of the job. Then, boldly share that information. 2. When Youre Negotiating a Job OfferIm an advocate for negotiating all job offers, but I also know that negotiating can be intimidating- because you may feel like youre asking for someth ing you dont deserve. This is where you should call on your ego to help. It will remind you that negotiations are not a zero-sum game. Yes, you are asking for a better compensation package, title, or assignment with your prospective employer- but you are also going to provide value in return for the benefits you receive.Let your ego help you talk about not only what you want as far as compensation, but also how youre going to benefit the employer by citing the accomplishments and wins youve already achieved.3. When Youre Prepping for a wertmiger zuwachs ReviewWhen I work with clients, Im always surprised at how much they think their boss knows about what they do. The reality is, your boss is busy He or she has a lot going on. And that means all the nooks and crannies of that successful project you worked on may not be as obvious to him or her as they are to you. So, call on your ego to help. When its review time, dont expect your boss to do the math. Review the results and accomplis hments you achieved, even if you think he or she is already aware of them. (Hint use this handy worksheet to get started.)Even if an accomplishment was a group effort, dont be bashful about taking credit for what you achieved within your role or contributed to the victory. Talk about what you did and how it helped make your team, boss, and organization more successful. 4. When Youre Asking for a RaiseStudies show that men tend to attribute their success to competence, while women usually credit success to good luck.If you attribute your success to luck, its going to be very difficult to ask for that raise- because you simply got lucky. Or anyone could have done it. This is a great opportunity to let your ego boost you up. Let it remind you that your accomplishments are not a matter of luck theyre the result of your critical thinking and hard work. Then, identify a measurable, quantifiable result that you helped the organization achieve. Thats a cold, hard fact you can use to negotia te your raise- and thats not about luck at all. 5. When Youre Jockeying for a PromotionYouve been toiling away at work, because you have your eye on that executive track prize. You know if you just wait patiently, when that next opening comes up, your manager will put your name forward as a candidate.But wait Your ego can help you out in this situation, too. Instead of waiting for a promotion opportunity to come up, let your ego help you make your intentions known ahead of time. Talk with your manager, mentor, or HR representative and tell him or her, My goal is to get on the executive track. Ask what it will take to get you ready for the next promotion that opens up. Then, start working on those skills. Youll be able to start preparing for the new role while building your visibility and credibility. And when the time comes, youll be ready. Sure, no one likes an egomaniac. But you dont have to be one to let your ego help you out in your career. Use it to help you identify and promot e the good work, solid results, and major accomplishments youve achieved- and watch your career benefit. Photo of man taking selfie courtesy of Shutterstock.
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